You want a dog who fits your life? Really???

First in a series

Human relationships can start out really well, but then go sideways. Is there something wrong with us if we don’t get along with somebody? I don’t think so. Behavior disorders can be real problems in species with complex brains – like us and our pets. But most creatures are functional with others. Our happiness and connectedness with others begins with compatibility. Wet kisses and full body contact feel wonderful but love at first sight can go wrong.

The dogs in my life have entertained me and they’ve consoled me. They’re a lot like a human soul mate but different. None have been perfect but, shucks, neither am I. Most of us do what we can to bring out the best in each other. Our chances improve if we start with a good match. A great dog for me might be the wrong fit for you.

Waiting is hard. When we’re ready to bring a pet into our life, we know it. We’ve been sort of thinking about it and then – opportunity knocks. OMG! Our emotions sky rocket faster than we can catch up to them. And there are so many pets who desperately need our caring home. They tug our heart strings. Take it slow and you and your shiny new dog might blissfully sail off into the sunset together.

Are you too impatient to read all of this? Do you know the “right dog” at first glance? If you really want to understand who you’re committing to, you’ll need to invest the time to observe and gradually get to know what’s happening in that fuzzy little brain before signing the adoption papers. Mismatches are hard to undo. Dogs are highly social; their bonds are strong even when their people become frustrated and hopeless. Rehoming can trigger severe anxiety or worse. Nobody wants to go there.

Maya Angelou famously said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” Be detached and pay attention. Trust your heart and your gut, but not yet. Stand back a generous distance from the puppies or grown-up dogs and watch. And don’t let well-meaning matchmakers show you who they think is best for you. Arranged marriages and forced friendships seldom work.

Next week: Who are the candidates?

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For help with behavior problems, you can sign-up for a Zoom Group Conference on my website, drjeffnichol.com.

Dr. Jeff Nichol is a residency-trained veterinary behaviorist in Albuquerque. He provides consultations by Zoom group and individually/in-person. Sign up for his weekly blog or post questions (drjeffnichol.com) or by US Post to 4000 Montgomery Blvd. NE, Albuq, NM 87109.